Interior Decorator

Yaaaayyyyyy the interior decorator/designer is coming today and I am so excited. We had the painter come last week and we are waiting on an estimate, we need the colors and then we will start. So stoked!!!!

Early Christmas

Today we had Christmas for Angela and Chase. The big present for Angela was a DS and she loved it. I almost think she liked the little presents better. One of them was Shrinky Dinks......If anyone has seen these they are really neat. Its a piece of what material I have no idea, you color it then bake for 3 minutes ( love that number) at 350 degrees. It gets smaller and smaller, it bends and it looks like it is going to bake together and then it unfolds and gets smaller - its really cool to watch. Chase's gift was part of a family gift. We got the kids a Kinect for the XBOX 360, now normally I hate the demon box and anything that has to do with it. But I really like the Wii because it promotes I don't know more movement than your thumbs. So I wasn't thrilled when Steve said he was getting something for the demon, but then once he got it home and told me what it was I warmed up a little bit, but I still had reservations, just because I have hated that thing for so long, the promise of it being good in any way was hard to believe. Well today it was connected and Mia of all people played for hours, she was jumping and jumping and didn't break anything. So its nice, we have the Wii upstairs which the kids still play and I use it for Netflicks, and then downstairs is the Kinect, and thats not hooked up to the internet, I'm not too keen on the kids being able to watch Netflicks without supervision or at least some way for us to know what they are watching. Mia watches upstairs with Angela alot but she uses her laptop that Grandma got her for Christmas which by the way is really nice! She watches, but she has to ask to use the laptop since its an electronic, we don't have problems with her so she gets to use it alot, and she is always good when we tell her she has had enough TV time on it or playing games. She loves that Bejeweled game. Don't tell her but for Christmas we got her some girl games that can only be played on her computer. She has done some research for school on it and she really liked that she could do that in her room and not down here at the main system and have all the crazy noise. She is going to love it next year when her papers are going to start coming in. So completely off topic but Angela and Chase will be leaving on the 23rd to go to Texas, even though their real mom lives in Washington, her Mom has cancer and this is probably going to be her last Christmas so everyone is going to her in Texas. They are excited. We are not. As hard as it is for us, its much harder for them. They are children, divorce is never pretty.............Praise the Lord that the other three are going to be home and with us! The next couple days are always hard for us, Steve suffers in silence, while I give lots of hugs and kiss's and cry. But Christmas is about giving, about the birth of our Savior. We are sacrificing, we are giving our children time with both of their parents, knowing what we know about their mother - It is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do and I didn't bare them, I can only imagine what it does to Steve. Keep them in your thoughts this Christmas, and pray for their safe arrival, safe visit, and safe return. Their just kids............ their our kids..........

Rainy Day.

Today the winds were so bad I had to pull over. The wind was going the rain was falling, crap was flooding all over the place. I wanted to just sit in the house but I couldn't. As I was out today I could feel my joints ache and my bones get cold inside. Hunter didn't take a normal nap today so he is in rare form right about now. I can hear Mia telling him to listen to the rules in her room. Hahahahaha if he did that then I would get her as much chocolate as she could handle. Well at least she's trying :)
Barbra got out of the hospital today. She has to wear a helmet till she gets a plate put in.

Lovely Disease

The other day I was feeling so good, I had been feeling good the past coup;e of days. I even took Hunter to a Moms Club event. He had a blast, so when we were invited to go again I thought it would be so much fun. I could spend time with Moms around my age and the same things with Hunter, getting that social interaction. We were both having a really good time and then it came out. It's not like I didn't know it was there, its awalys there. But never the less Lupus still felt the need to say Hello! I'm here!!!!

Sleep or Wake

I used to go to sleep excited to wake up for a new day, and wake wanting to go back to bed for a few more minutes.......now I stay awake because I'm afraid to fall asleep. I never know how good or how bad my day will be. Even right in middle of the day sometimes. So do I wasnt to stay up, go to sleep, or wake up??? Weird

Downstairs Bathroom

I painted the bathroom in one day. I thought at the time I rocked it out! It went from a baby blue powder, old chipped paint to a neutral tan, and very white white trim. I thought it smelled great and looked great. Once it dried was a different story. I found the reason I do not own my very own painting business - pretty much because I suck at it. I figured out what and where I went wrong. Now i am going to sand and touch up. Its been about a week now since I started the project. Working that one day on it took me out for about 2 days. I've slowly been regaining my strength. I couldn't take Hunter on a playdate today because I'm still not up to par after the bathroom.. I hate being sick! I hate looking fine, and screaming inside with pain. Just because I look the same I should be able to do the same, at least thats what I think, so to not be able to finish painting in the same day let alone week has been a hard reality check for me. Before Thanksgiving thats what I want, to have it done before then.

Cheerleading

Yesterday I dropped my girls off at their first cheerleading practice and I was a little freaked out. the coach looks like a skeloton, had a huge oddly shapped hat, sunken in black eyes. I at first thought that maybe her makeup was smudged or she had been crying but as I looked closer I realized that that was the color of her skin!!! I told the girls if they were too scared to stay they could come home with me - they just laughed and told me to go ahead and go. Tonight I dropped them off and Mia was trying to explain to me that its a shadow because her eyes go inside her head so much..............either way. She is creepy looking. And yet again I left my girls with her :O

Back again

ok so I step away for awhile and I come back with a plethera of items in my noggin... like that use of words???? We are the Three Amigos.....:)   Update, Barbra living with us went from worse to unlivable. We moved into our new house - F A B O U L O U S ...... she had another seizure, she lived on the couch, on Steve's birthday she drove herself 2 hours to the casino and had another seizure, she's been in the hospital 2 hours away ever since. They found an infection in her brain. Took the piece of skull out that the infection was on and now she wears a helmet. She will be released and sent back to our house in 14 days.........Very glad she is still alive and in somewhat better health. Very hopeful her entire situation will turn in a different direction very soon.

Some Days

Some days are so clear, some days you wake up and you know exactly what you are going to do that day and you do it with passion and lust because you know you are here on this day on this earth for this very second.I miss days like that.Other days your just happy to be alive.......

Saturday

I love Saturdays, sleep in, relax.....oh who am I kidding. The alarm goes off and you start to get ready until you realize it is Saturday, go back to sleep just to be woken up by a little guy jumping on you - Mommy Mommy Mommy Mommy.......you finally answer and you just get a smile :) You come downstairs and your lovely daughter has tried to make breakfast for everyone. The pan has burnt eggs on it, now it must soak, the butter is everywhere,  you can tell she was talking and where she moved to by the trail of crumbs, blankets everywhere because each kid wants to wrap themselves up. Milk and cereal out and all over the counter. But when you come downstairs there is a kinda funny looking breakfast but its breakfast none the less. Every bit of that little girls heart went into making this breakfast. Your met with big hugs and smiles. The table is set just for you. Mommmmm Good morning.........how did you sleep. I do in fact Love Saturdays. Wouldn't trade them for anything. I am going to miss mornings like this. My children are wonderful and I love them all.

Girl Scouts

Mia and Angela have what looks like a really good group of little girls in their troop. We went to the first meeting the other night and all the Mom's seem to genuinlly be there for the girls and want to make it as fun as possible. You know there's always one Nazi mom that has to make a big deal about some things but other than that. I think theres a great group of girls for my two to meet.

Back to School

I love my kids very much but I am glad to see them at school. They have been home since Friday. 4 days doesn't sound like a long time but Oh my Word..... it is!!! Now off to school they go this morning and I am happy for them to get an education.

Julia

This is my girlfriends daughter Julia. She stayed with us today. Hunter and her played really hard today, this is the after effect. She is on the steps, I got up for literally 2 minutes, when I came back I couldn't find her. So I started looking and she was no where to be found, instead of calling her mom and telling her that I lost yet another kid, (whole other story) I just kept looking. I happen to look up and this is what I saw!!! It was so funny.

Simon

The Lord gave Simon a new name when he began following Jesus. Cephas, it means a rock in Greek, that was the name the Lord chose for him. What would your name be if you were to be renamed. I would want to be something like brave, or loyal. But where I am today what would I actually be called??? I once new a guy named Simon in the 4th or 5th grade. I had a small crush on him, but I never told anyone.  He was the short brown little guy that had to sit on his feet when he ate lunch to be the same height as everyone else at the table. He sat next to my boyfriend Adam Sanchez. OOooooh he was dreamy :) He was the football player and I was the cheerleader. I have come very far since those days. Those days I would say that the Lord would have given me a great name. But something happens when you get older. I heard a sermon the other day about this. When you are little everything is black and white. You know right from wrong with no doubt. Because you have tested your boundaries. As you get older you seem to see in Gray. Now I have been told on more than one occasion that everything is not black and white and that there are no absolutes. I always argue that it is either black or white and that is the end of it. Either its right or wrong . There's no in between. I have stuck by that and it has cost me in more ways than one. But I would rather stick to my beliefs and have the possiblity of being renamed something beautiful in Gods kingdom, than be accepted here on this earth.

Something to think about

I walked into the book department of the store, laying on top I see a how  to for weight watchers. I took a closer look and there are more wight loss and how to eat healthier than there were religious books. I began to wonder. God says he loves us, he loves us right where we are, fat, thin, ugly, beautiful - no matter what he loves us. So why do we judge ourselves so harshly? Why is it that we fight and designate all these millions of hours to be better looking or thinner? But then the bible says that our body is our temple and that we house the Lord almighty within it. True, we do - how appealing is it to talk to a hot missionary that has the Love for God, or a 300 lb man that wants to share his story with you? I don't know. All these things rush in my head as I look back and think of all the times I spent worrying about how I look when I could have been talking with Jesus or just reading my bible. Even as I stood there and though about it I thought, hmmmmm I'm doing it right now.........

Thrift Stores

Almost all thrift stores or second hand stores are ran by a church or a non for profit organization. Good will, Salvation Army....you know, those stores that no one wants to admit they go to but deep inside they actually enjoy going. I know I do. Its so exciting, you never know what you are going to find or what odd items might make you walk away slowly......very.............slowly......... anyways I have items to take, I was taking them to Open Door Ministry that my church has been helping out. I got there and bam there it was! NO DONATIONS. WOWOWOWOWOWOW, I just find it so odd that a non for profit organization would not take donations, because they have too much? Maybe their prices are too high, maybe they aren't making themselves available to people, maybe they need to ask God why they are turning people away, there is always someone in need. Take a truck full of coats different sizes and all down to Philly. Go beneath where they live and cloth them, give them so clean underwear and don't worry wether or not they live in your county or the next. The fact is they are cold, they are hungry. Don't turn people away, that may be their first time giving and maybe just maybe one of them walks in with a open heart that day and no one talks to her about our Lord Jesus Christ, because No donations today.

New House

Hallo everyone.............. sorry its been awhile. We didn't have internet here at our new house. But now we do. Its been a busy few weeks, and so many things have been going on. We are not completely moved in just yet but we are close. We are living here we just still have stuff at the other house. No rush at getting the stuff. We still have another month to move out so every day we go by the old house and we bring a truck load back. We did the uhaul thing for the big stuff and its just little stuff now. The kids love their school and I am getting one day a week so far to just play with Hunter. Thats the best part, it makes everything else go away and fade into the distance. Its funny, just when you think there's nothing left and you can't take another day of the chaos your life contains, you take a deep breath and ask God to guide you. Then as if the Lord just pressed a button and for those few desperately needed moments everythings ok. The laugh from the little guy just makes my heart sing. The Lord always knows what we need. Well I'm rambling and its time to put Hunter to bed.

Busy Busy Day

So I had to go to Home Depot at 8am this morning to tell them we changed our mind about the dryer installation and yes we do want them to install it. I have never had to work so hard to get an individual to understand the words coming out of my mouth!!! I have laringitus or how ever you spell it, so I am a raspy whisper at best - poor lady she is over a 100 and hard of hearing and of course she is the only one in the department, why wouldn't she be the only one there today.............oooooohhhhh when we finally taught her how do use the box with the letters on it, we ended up just calling to confirm the changes. The dryer and the fridge will be delivered on Friday!!! Then the house is livable. Well the fridge is a must!!! Then the air duct cleaners were there. I love how they tell you we will be here between sometime in the morning and sometime in the afternoon and we expect you to wait and twiddle your thumbs with a two year old in an empty house. Yup but they do, they all do and what do we do? We bend over and take it with a smile. So we did just that, and when they showed up we were happy to see them. It is amazing what getting those things cleaned did to the house, it smells wonderful. They were horribly dirty and full of dog hair, there is no way Steve is going to let us get a dog after this is all over. I'm not sure I will ever want a dog either. So now that the house is live able we will move things in. (sssshhhhhh, don't tell anyone but I already started :P ) A little bed here and there, no one will ever miss it. Oh and I missed the best part of my day today. I had lunch with my very good friend Yvonne, I met her through our small group and she has been such a blessing. I really needed to have some one on one time with another Christian woman. I was telling my Husband, who is still on lone to the navy, that even though it wasn't as much time as I would have liked it to be, just talking to her was uplifting. She is truly a wonderful person and I am blessed to know her. I look up to her as a Woman of Faith. So with my prayers on the tip of my tongue tonight I will now turn in................Good Night.

Brothers

Check this out. Isn't it great. Chase on his Rip Stick and he is getting so good at it that he can ride with Hunter on it. This is in our Neeeewwww driveway :) Look at them. Hunter loves his big brother!!!

Relative or Family Member???

 Had a chat with my Pops........I love my Pop. He is such a good person, I mean he's one of those people that you are drawn too. I haven't met anyone that didn't like him. He is just a like-able guy. When things are bad I know I can call him and he will tell me how good they are. He always has a smile on his face and you can see it threw the phone. When we talked this time he was telling me once again how he hates to see that I am yet again a loner in my own family. He knows more about what is going on with my family half the time than I do. Why? Well cause he's a great guy and is easy to talk to. Because no matter what I do I will always be an outcast in my own family. Its weird you know, you grow up in the same house as someone, share a room next to them for more than half your life and today you would never know it. It makes me sick to my stomach to think of sitting at a table with that part of my family. Its really just sad....my Pop always says, your family is who lives under your roof, who you wake up and see every day, who knows you today and tomorrow, and their day to day life would change if you weren't there. The rest well their just relatives. So maybe I'm not an outcast in my family. Maybe I have more relatives than I thought. And maybe I'm not the outcast. Maybe Pop is right - Maybe I'm the head of my family, me and my husband. And maybe just maybe my Pop will see me smiling through the phone.

Doing good, real good

The other day I had someone ask me how I was doing, how I had been since it had been awhile since I had seen this individual. My reply was simple and honest. Doing good, real good. Later as I let this person peer but a glimpse into the demons in my life, she stated I just asked you how you were and you said you were good. As I listened to myself state the issues for that moment, some how I was not over come, I was not upset, I was not quivering as the words left my lips, instead I smiled, I joked about the hardships that me and my family deal with on a daily basis, I took a deep breath - and I was good. In the midst of everything going on some how God has brought me something I have not been praying for, something I didn't think was possible, something I wouldn't have prayed for, but God knew, God knew what I needed. Among all the turmoil God has given me peace. A peace I didn't even realize I had till the other night. A peace that warms your heart to know that even though you may be questioning God and all his glory, he still finds time to answer your hearts prayers, even when you don't know what to pray about. Or how to ask for help. God hears what your mouth can't say. Those moments when you hear your own heartbeat, those moments that seem to last forever, those moments when you look at your life and think - what the hell is going on. God hears you. And I couldn't ask for anything better.

Car Wash

Not only does the Navy Reserves request all of your time as but when you are a  Chief Select Petty Officer you are required to do Car Wash's and good ones at that! :) Today Steve and the rest of the guys worked really hard and washed a ton of cars! They earned $634.00 dollars. Actually double that, the owners of one of the local business's said they would match what ever they made. Awesome! They have to raise money as part of the fundraising to give back to the mess. Its the first time since we have been here that I have seen Navy personnel outside of a base. I drove up and I saw the shirts and them running around, it made me sad that we don't live on base anymore. I remember when the Selectee's had to pump your gas and they took donations for that. It was so neat to see the car wash. The kids and I made signs that we held out in front of the car wash and yelled at people to come get their car washed. Even Hunter was out there with me Hooping and Hollering. It was fun. Me and the girls spent all day Friday making cookies, and cupcakes, and brownies, and I mean all freakin day!!! My genius but forgot that Friday was a holiday and woke everyone up at 0 dark Hundred, once I realized they didn't have school it was too late. So I mean we were cooking aaaallllll day.........but it was for a good cause and the girls loved telling everyone at the car wash that they made those.

Listen

Last week I heard someone give advice to another person. It was simple and to the point, and yet I struggle with it. "Try listening to God, talk to him - but spend some time really listening" It seems like such an easy task. Just listen, ok I can listen - I hear things everyday this should be no different. Shut my mouth and open my ears. But when I do this there are a million things going through my mind. I turn it off and nothing happens, I sit there and wonder what am I suppose to be doing? Is this a waste of my time? Why can't I hear him? Am I doing this right? There is a huge difference between the word listen and hear. Hear is when you know someone is talking or something is going on but you haven't taken it in and processed it. You haven't allowed your heart to accept it. We pray so much and ask God for so much, do we ever stop and listen? And if you do, what do you do if you don't hear anything. I have heard God's voice before! Its the most amazing feeling you will ever have in your entire life. I think its harder when you have heard it and then when you try to listen you don't hear it. Like on that movie Men in Black - Will Smith says " You know what they say, its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all" and the other guy says "Try it". So when you are down and out, or even on top of clouds this week, take the time to listen....you just might hear an amazing voice - I hope I do...

Stuff Everywhere

We took all of our stuff over to Maryann and Bob's today. We are having a yard sale. It seems like so much stuff but once its laid out it doesn't seem like it was worth even being in your house. Its amazing the things that we buy and spend our hard working money on. I remember back when it was just me and the kids and I would go to yard sale after yard sale and never get anything, I would come home and my walls were bare, my end tables only had a candle or two on them - and that was ok, I enjoyed the simplicity of it all. Now there is so much crap everywhere its crazy. I just started loading stuff in bins the other day. I didn't care what it was or when was the last time we used it I just want my simple tables and candles back. I may not get all of them back but this yard sale is a start. It took us 3 trips to Maryann and Bob's and tomorrow morning I plan on filling the Honda up with as much as it can fit! Wish me Luck :)

Spray Park

Our church does a weekly meeting somewhere around town for all the mothers and kids. THis week it was at the spray park. It was so hot I even thought about going into the park with my cloths on and just getting wet!!! But the kids had fun, we ate lunch there and headed home. It was so tiring, I am done for the night. Going to sleep.

A Hot Shower

I am still not able to take a hot shower, well its not cold but its absolutely not as hot as I used to have it. I get so winded and short of breath now that my lungs can't handle the thickness of the air. The steam or whatever, I wonder if I will be able to ever have a HOT HOT HOT shower again. Maybe not, maybe tomorrow the Lord will heal me and this will all be but a memory in the journey we call life. Maybe tomorrow will never come. I know I feel blessed to have had today. My husband that I love dearly, my children, they are so beautiful every last one of them. We have a house, and employment, and most of all we have each other. With all the new medical problems that have come up the last few months and yet I can't help but to still be so thankful. The Lord is good and he is providing. We are proof of that every single day we open our eyes in the morning!

Zoo

We went to the Philly Zoo yesterday. It was really nice and breezy in the morning but then it got crazy hot! Either way the kids had fun. We took Ciera Mia's friend from Girl Scouts and her little brother with us. They had a blast. Hunter stayed awake the entire time I was really surprised but he did. I knew when we got in the car to go home he was going to be out. And sure enough, we weren't out on the highway yet and snoring away he was! The kids want to go to New York next..........can you see it??? Me and the 5 kids alone in New York City??? That should be fun.............

Angela Girl Scout Camp

Now its Angela's turn! We dropped her off yesterday, and I got all teary eyed. Its like we just got her back and here she goes again. Next time I will give it more time in between her coming and going. Steve says it just me doing the Mom thing but still she won't be back till Friday. She was so excited to go. When my last phone went out I lost alot of my phone numbers and all of her friends numbers were in there so she hasn't been able to talk to any of her friends. I told her when she gets back we will drive over to her friends house's and get their numbers and I will put it in my awesome new Palm Pre Phone that syncs up to Cyber space and keeps your stuff on a profile. So awesome, made just for people like me - everything is saved on a server and if I screw up my phone they still have it on file.

Mia Girl Scout Camp

There aren't alot of pictures, at least not of Mia from the front, she was so excited and it was so busy when we dropped her off at camp that I didn't get alot. I will get more of Angela when we drop her off. Here are a few, it was really nice there.Click Here

Chloe

Mia took this and I just can't believe the difference! This is Chloe! She has gotten so big. You don't realize how big they get when you see em everyday.

Selectee Boyer

Steve has a crazy amount of tasks to complete now that he is Selectee Boyer. He had to get a Kaki spoon and send pictures of it to his Chief since Chief Peterson had to spoon feed him and all the others. hahahaha Then it wasn't a clear enough picture, not a kaki enough spoon, then it wasn't big enough so Steve got a shovel! Then he had to blow eggs, and me and the girls helped him color the eggs. Two had to be Hispanic (why are there only two of us????) Two were black, one was a white girl and the rest were white guys. Its suppose to simulate the ratio that is really in the Navy. We had to paint them, give them uniforms, insignia's, hair, eyes, and then a bed, and their "rack" had to be decorated. Later me and Steve made a flag and he has to write countless reports and find out a crazy amount of information. If you want to see some pictures of Steve Blowing an egg. Click Here

Willow Grove

I am going to attempt to take all 5 kids to Willow Grove today. Yesterday was a hard day. The kids' first day back we knew it would be hard on them and us I think your just never prepared for what comes out of babes mouths. I am tired and I pray I will have the strength to make it there and back with a positive attitude. Yesterday God was with me every step of the way. He gave me patience and understanding. I can't say thank you enough to him for just the one day let alone the next weeks or months. One day at a time - that's my goal. The kids are still asleep, well Hunter is awake of course but the others are sleeping. I'm going to let them sleep and then we are going to take a trip. Steve needs a new uniform that I am going to pick up for him. I took the kids to the park yesterday after dinner so Steve could get his Chief tasks done, they are never ending. Just when I think he will be able to breath, the phone rings again. Hopefully getting his uniform for him will help and he can check some tasks off. Well here we go.........on with today......:)

Kids Are Back

We picked Angela and Chase up tonight. Their flight was 41 minutes late but we got them. It was a blessing that it was late though because we hit crazy traffic on the way there. Steve was getting really worried that we were going to be late, he ran in the airport when he saw that the plane was late - he was so relieved. The Navy has him running in circles. There's another task waiting as soon as he gets home. Family Weekend is this weekend and all the Chiefs have been asking if we are going to be there. Its weird but I'm nervous about going. Him getting Chief is a huge thing and every time he is on the phone they ask how his wife is taking. That worries me, these guys are complete strangers and they are asking how I am doing, makes me wonder what will come next. They weren't joking when they said "He's mine till September" Ever since he found out there hasn't been one hour that goes by that he isn't doing something for them! I'm proud of him! I am going to try and be as supportive as possible. The good thing is the kids are home and they are safe. I am so excited that they are home. Its crazy how much you miss people when they aren't there and how crazy they can drive you when they are. All my babies are home now! Maybe tonight I will sleep better :)

Radioactive!!!

Today I went to the cardiologist. I had to have a stress test done. I got in there and they hooked me up to the sticky's and gave me an IV. The wires were hooked up to my chest and stomach. I had an IV in one arm and a blood pressure cuff on the other. My temperature was taken every few minutes, and the BP was taken in between. I had to get on the treadmill with all the connections, and every 30 seconds the speed and incline would go up. Once my heart rate got to where they wanted it I had to run for 1 minute in that speed with that heart rate, then they pushed the Isatopes. Its not a dye, its Isatopes! Who knows what that means but that is what they told me. The Isatope was put in my IV and I am  RADIOACTIVE for the next 3 days, The isatope will then have half the life in my system. Every 3 days the isatope will decay a little more till its completely out of my system. Until then I have to stay away from Hunter so it doesnt absorb in his skin. The nurse said holding him was fine but sleeping with him for hours was not ok, at least till the first round of decay. After the Isatope was in my system they put me in a tube, like a CAT scan only the machine moves instead of you. It picks up the energy that the isatope gives off and takes pictures. It takes 64 pictures in 20 minutes. I had pictures taken at 9 this morning and then 3 hours later. I should get my results tomorrow morning. I thought it was going to be a lot more running and jumping or something. Did not think I would go home being radioactive! Ha hahahahahahaha...............I'm not glowing or anything and I don't feel any different but I know the isatope is still in my system. Kinda kool.

Cucumbers!

My garden is doing great! I saw my first cucumber today, it looks like a little kosher pickle but its still growing, and its awesome, I'm so excited - the tomatoes are still green but there's alot of them. My first garden and so far its a success. Doing a little dance - oh yeah oh yeah. :)

Stress Test

Tomorrow I have my stress test, I guess I get injected with some kind of dye and then wait. After 3 hours they take a picture, they asked if I could run on a treadmill and I told them yes but not very good. I'm just so tired lately. I ache and I feel like I'm getting worse. I see the doc this afternoon for another blood test. I'm so tired of all these tests. Last week they put me in a plasitc tube that closed from the front and had me breath in helium to see how my lungs are working. It was a neat machine but it was loud and the machine was scary but in the end it was just weird. It is amazing though what medical doctors can do know a days.

Chase & Angela

They are coming home tomorrow!!!!! I am so excited!!!! I'm nervous too, and I feel for them because I know they are leaving their Mom again - I use that term very loosely. They come back tomorrow around 530, Sarah is going to watch Hunter while me and the other two go get them. Even with 3 of them in the house, Angela is the loud one and it just seems so quite here. I'm sure I wont say that after they are home and I am stressed out about all of them and the move and all but right now I just want my babies home! One more day!

Whistle

Hunter can whistle! How cool is that???? I think its because he can speak Spanish and English that his tongue and mouth muscle's are developing differently but whatever the reason, its the coolest thing to have him running around whistling.

Will's Back

So Will went to Wrestling Camp in York PA, he went for 5 days. It was a resident camp and he had a blast! When I picked him up it was like he wrestled for the first time, he was so excited about the moves he learned and the whole experience. He was a little bummed because he was the lightest one at camp, I guess there was a 9 year old that weighted more than him. But hey just like Grandma Shultz says - Good things come in small packages. He only weights 73 lbs. He's a little guy after his mother's heart! hehehehehe I think its cute that he is so small, he doesn't though. Oh well, he's home and he's tired. He hung out with the big kids, 13 & 14 year olds I wasn't too excited about some of the conversations they had but at least he feels comfortable telling me about how inappriorprate some of these kids are. Mia comes home tonight and the other two are close behind. Then all the babies will be home! And just in time to start packing and getting on with the next phase of our lives!!! Yaaaaaaaayyyyyy

Here is the whole group! The Daybreak bunch at Creation 2010! Fine lookin group aren't they!!!!

Look at my boy at his first Creation concert! He had so much fun. He got the Newsboys signature on his hat. He is so excited.

So back to the 4th of July, on the 3rd when we celebrated it we went out to a field and put our blankets down with our drinks, a band playing and lots of glow sticks. We watched the fireworks and were proud to be free Americans. Living for so long in a military town you get used to others around you having a sense of pride for just being there. Here in civilian world its like they get it but they don’t live it. I layed down on the blanket with Steve holding Hunter in one arm and Mia in the other, holding Steve’s hand looking up at the beautiful array of fireworks and just breathed. With all the chaos around us, with all the wild cards that are coming up we have each other. God has given us this bond for a reason, and we can do this. It may not be easy but we can do it.

I read a quote the other day that said I didn’t chose the hand that was dealt to me but I’m still in! Well no, we didn’t choose it. God gave it to us as a gift and it’s our choice how many hands we play and when to fold. Now I’m not too good at the game, but I tell you what – I get further in the hand of life when I turn my hand over to God.

Day before 4th of July

Well the celebration is today so Happy Fourth Of July!!!!!!!!!!! We are going to Pottstown to see the fireworks in a few hours. We went to the carnival and it had a car show - love those old cars.

God

Do you think God can be mad at you? If you have a relationship with the Lord and you can be mad at him, can he be mad at you? God is love and God is everything good, and he's our father so how can he be mad. I don't know but the past week I think God might be mad at me. Maybe God has given us all "gifts" that we don't understand or that we see as being curse's. So if this is a gift then how do I tell myself to be thankful and not pissed?

Catch Up

Ok sorry, haven't been in for awhile but let me catch you up a little. Chase and Angela left 3 days ago to go to their Mom's in Washington. They won't be back for 3 weeks. - Will left with the church group to go to Creation, he won't be back until Sunday. So its Mia and Hunter. Its weird having only 2. Its so quiet in the house. Mia is bored alot and I am now the only entertainer. That's different and fun! Hunter has learned how to whistle!!!

Summer Is Here

Took the kids to a community church at a church that I have never heard about, Barbra told us about it. It was free so I figured why not. It was so much. I am going to suggest that our church do something like it - we did enjoy ourselves so much. I signed the kids up for VBS and for AWANAS! They had this puppet show that was really cute. The kids had a blast. Then we went to the Y's swimming pool, Its huge with slides and shoots - love that place. We had a great time and it was a good day. I was exhausted when I got home but I figure the kids are worth it. I really am blessed to have my children. I may not always feel that way but there are rare moments like this one when I do acknowledge how amazing God is and how blessed I am to have mine. 5 Different brains, character, clothes, style, thoughts - 5 amazing miracles. Most parents are only given the job of one or two, but God chose me for 5. I take them for granted many times, today was not one of those days. Today I enjoyed my children...

Hunter at the ER

Friday morning was the last day of school. It was a busy morning, all the kids were trying to get their stuff ready. Each one of them had to have something that I had no idea were to look in the house to find it, and they were really rowdy. I sat down to have my coffee when I heard the crash, then the dreaded scream. Only this time it wasn't the regular suspects. This time it was the little man.......I jumped up ran over and Will came out of the bathroom with Hunter holding his hand out covered in blood. Will started explaining what happened - Chase has a hand mirror that he uses to put his contacts in with, Will was brushing his teeth and Hunter was watching, he dropped the mirror and it broke, he started to clean it up when Hunter grabbed one of the piece's - At the same time Angela was walking by the bathroom and saw Hunter pick up the mirror. She attempted to snatch it out of his hand when he pulled it back informing her that it was "Mine" they played tug a war for only a second and then the blood started. I swooped him up and took him to the sink. Trying to get the bleeding to stop. At first I thought it was his palm, there was so much blood. Then I relized that it was his thumb, the meaty part, you know the part you have a fingerprint on. Papertowel after paper towel I couldn't get it to stop bleeding so after awhile I looked at the kids and said, ok - ER now, get my purse, get a towel and get in the car. I wrapped his hand in a towel, Will sat up front holding him trying to put pressure on it, the girls grabbed my purse and hollered for Chase to get in the car. He wanted to discuss what had happened, I had no time for discussion I don't know how much blood a little guy like Hunter can loose so I told him to catch the bus and make sure he goes to school I was going to the ER, love you - have a good day see you this afternoon. We rush to the hospital which is thankfully only a mile or two away. I'm holding him with a washcloth full of blood, I walk in - "I can't get the bleeding to stop" I say as I walk up to the front desk, she reaches over and gives me another napkin like the one in my hand was a fake or something, I have Will fill out the forms and I sign, we sit down, the front desk lady comes over for yet another signature and I once again hold his hand up and the napkin that she gave me and say "I can't stop the bleeding", she nods and runs behind the doors that only open one way and you have to have a key code to get into. Not a second later a nurse came out to see us, she weighted him got all his information and we were in a room. Man was it quick, normally when you get into a ER room you wait for another 20-30 minutes for the doc to come in, not this time. The doc came in right away and looked at his thumb. "He needs stitches its really deep the doc explained but because its so jagged there is no way we can stitch. So we are going to numb the wound and chut this chunk of skin that is hanging off, if we leave it there it will just get infected and pull on it and hurt him more. Then we are going to be a addhesive peice of tape over the wound, the adhesive will fuss to the blood capilaries and stop the bleeding and then the adhesive will disinegrate into his finger so you won't have to bring him back." What was I to say - no don 't do your job??? I just wanted the bleeding to stop. So he left and said he would be right back and guess what happened? He was back in almost a minute with two other nurses to hold my little guy down and all the dressing and injections he needed. Anyway they gave the lidacain shot directly into the wound which he did not act to thankful for that. Then they wrapped his little hand up, it was still bleeding. We had to wait for it to stop so he got more gauze on it. Finally we can go home. He is exhasued and so I am. Dropped the kids off and went home, my wounded in hand.

Tonight we kind of celebrated Father's Day. We gave Steve some of his presents. I followed Tiffany's awesome idea and made a book from Snapfish for Father's Day. He said he liked it, it was a collection of pictures of the kids and I wrote a poetic caption for all of them. He just smiled, I hope he liked it seriously I didn't relize how much time it takes to make one of those things. Tiffany did it for our wedding and it was exquisite, fabolus!!! I did have fun making it. Angela made him a whole bag of things they were so cute.

Laptop

My computer has been screwing up lately. Taking forever to boot up and just acting funny....isn't it weird how you give your equipment a personality. Well anyways Steve told me that he noticed it also and that we have to keep in mind how long these systems are suppose to last, and that maybe I might want to shut it down at night. I know I should do that - Thats not new to me, but I never do. Nope never do it - so I'm going to try and remember to do it this week. He suggested that I save all my stuff but most of the stuff on my system is college which I can save to a thumb drive no problem but the big part is pictures. I'm not sure how I should back them up or what exactly I should do with that. I have years of pictures on this thing. gonna have to do some research on that one.

Browness

I think I spent too much time in the Washington Non Sun weather. I volunteered the day before yesterday at the kids school, we tye dyed shirts and I got some sun....the outline of my tank top line got burned its so weird its like I'm white or something :) So my white self got a little red, the Mexican side of me got brown! My arms look nice and so does my face and arms, its just these damn lines that are red. So I almost look Mexican! Its nice to have a little bit of color.

MAS!!!!

Hunter said his first word in Spanish!!!! Its MAS.. and its means more. I'm so excited that he said it and he used it right you know he knows how to use it and knows what it means. He's getting so big so quick.

Back

Ok, we are back and in full swing. Catch up - Grandma Elmo turned 62 over the weekend. She flipped out on her birthday and then said sorry, saying sorry is a big deal. Still haven't found a house. Chase and Angela leave in three weeks, looking forward to it and scared out of my mind all at the same time. Midway through one class, had to stop Math. Voluntold to be Co-President of PTO going to find out today what that means. Steve back to a crazy schedule. My brother still twisted and a jackass! other brother still not allowed to talk to. I go to a specialist to see if I have Lupus or RA next week. Kids last day of school is 18th. Aaaaahhhhh never any down time, I've been trying for 3 days now to go to the salon and still haven't made it. Church group starts on Sunday, ladies Group on Monday. I just want to crawl in a small dark place and never come out. But then my damn phone would always ring and what good is that. I want a new phone, Steve says No he doesn't like the contracts. Pop's B'Day is Tomorrow. Gotta get back to work. Studying for Mid Terms.

Now its hailing!

site, bed rest next 6-8 hrs. Orginal pain & stress test failure cause is unknown.

mom is back in her room. No blockage found, no sign of plague buildup. So, no balloning or stints needed. Heart is healthy. No suture of insertion

Well mom had a heart attack wednesday might they are giving her surgery right now we are o n our way back grandma gp getting worse and i s running a fever

Grandma Shultz

I am here in the hospital with Grandma tonight. I brushed her soft hair, I held her head - she's so fragile. The grandma that once stomped around with greatness is weak and frail and in pain. They changed her dressing and when she cried I just wanted to sweep her up and take her out of here. My heart breaks for her and I have no way to show or tell her. She has been the backbone and core of this family for so long I fear there will be nothing left without her. Already there is turmoil and anger in the ranks as she lay helpless in the hospital bed. I love my grandma and I close my eyes and remember a healthier time for her. God watch over her.

We are now in illinois

We are now in indiana

Chemistry / Juvenile Delinquency

I failed Chemistry. My first ever course in college to bomb! It sucks cause I did work hard on it. I was missing 4 experiments, I just didn't make time for it. It's nobody's fault but my own, now I have to retake it and I might have to pay again, I'm going to ask if I can retake it with a discount but in today's society I doubt that will be happening. Either way Chemistry sucks and I shouldn't have taken it with another course. I need to take it alone so I can concentrate. I think the same thing will happen with Math but I'm going to try and not let it. I did pass my Juvenile Delinquency course. That's a plus :) But I liked that course and I new most of it through my training and job, either way I found it interesting. So I am now working on Introduction to Culture Diversity. I am 4 class's away not including Chemistry so I guess now its 5 class's.... aaaaahhhhhhh makes me so mad that I did that to myself. Damn It!!! I have to slow down and take only what I can do. Its an internal boundary that I have not set yet. I need to know when to say No to myself. I say yes to help and give time to everyone else but not to ME. I'm still learning and growing and with God's help I will get it one day. Culture Diversity isn't what I thought it would be its actually pretty interesting, its just alot of reading which is hard to get done at home as soon as I open a book Hunter wants to jump in my lap and read. I know that's a good thing but he is still into hard books. You know the whole lets not destroy books today is still a daily conversation with him. Well I'm going to get some reading in, I'm at the Y - I get 2 hours with him in the daycare. 1 - hour for homework, and 1 - for working out. Going to take it slow today and only do upper body since my foot is still sore, stupid foot. Later.

My Stupid Foot

I had to go back to the damn foot doctor. I had to get another stupid shot! Those things hurt like hell! When the doc was asking me about my pain level I told him that I didn’t want to even go to the appointment because I kind of had a feeling that I would need another shot since my pain came back just after a few days. I didn’t want to tell him because of how much the shot hurt, I asked him for a new shoe, or a cream or pill or something just not the shot. Nope – No such luck, I got the needle! I bleed a lot more this time too, not sure why. So anyways he said that since I have ignored this for years that it might take another round of shots to make it feel better more than a couple of days. So I will go back in three weeks and see. If I still have pain then I get the needle again. Then in three weeks if I am still in pain I get a brace for awhile. More pain after that and not only the needle but then the KNIFE! Surgery, nope don’t want it I like my foot the way it is. So I’m going to try and listen more and stay off my foot today and tomorrow, I don’t know how that will fit into Hunter’s plan but I’m going to try. Wish me luck!

Reading Olympics

Will had his reading Olympics tournament tonight. He did good. They answered 53 questions correctly. At the end there were too many people from his school competing so he stepped down to give someone else a chance. Isn’t that cool? He did that all on his own, but then when they asked the questions he knew ten more questions than the ones up there and they got it wrong so he was a little bummed about that but he was still stoked and just happy that he competed. Will has always been slow at school and has to fight every step of the way, so for him to compete in an academic tournament was a real I don’t know pride booster – I don’t know how to explain it, but I’m proud of him. He got a shirt that has some kind of weird monster with a book on it that says Smart Something, he’s wearing it and was smiling and telling me how he read and remembered all those books.

Grandma Shultz

I talked to Mom today and Grandma is doing so much better. She is still critical but the breathing tube is out and so is the feeding tube! She is able to eat, she is off puree food and today she had soft food for the first time. She is smiling and was even approved to move out of ICU – now there aren’t any beds available in the hospital so she will stay in ICU until something opens up but she is doing well. It’s been 4 weeks now since she went in this round. Last Thursday they told us that the surgery to repair the hole in her chest had been cancelled and there was nothing they could do. But thanks to the Good Lord, she has gotten better. They still aren’t talking about doing the surgery right away but the less tubes in her and the more she can do on her own is fantastic!!! So excited to go see her. We leave Saturday morning and will be there Saturday night. We are staying at Grandma’s house. I love her house, I have so many wonderful memories there. That’s the one place I remember growing up that was safe, and warm, and well it was Grandma – and just being around her in the same room makes you feel good inside. She is a wonderful woman and I can’t wait to see her. Yay, Yay, Yay, oh yeah, she’s doing better – yes she is (doing a little dance, even though you can’t see) :)

Chase Karate

So today was Chase's first tournament at the Y. He did his Kata then and I thought he did really well. He messed up a little bit at the end that caused one of the judges to give him a 5.5 so he wasn't in the finals for Kata. He got a participation trophy. Then came the sparring! That was really cool. I've never seen a Karate tournament and let me tell you if Sparring isn't the highlight of it. They actually fight each other. Some of those kids were matrixing it up. Chase got 2nd place! 2nd Place! it was his first time competeing and it was great! He was so excited. It was so great to see him really try and he loved it. I have tons of pictures and the video of it that if I have time I am going to put up but it was really Neat!!! So proud of him he was Awesome!

Pink Eye

William had pink eye a week or so ago, we got it taken care of no problem. Now Hunter has it in both eyes, and he gave it to me and I have it in both eyes. My damn eyes burn, and I can't put my contacts in so I'm wearing my stupid glass's and I look funny. I'm not used to wearing my glass's so I have a huge head ache that won't go away!

Grandma Shultz

Grandma's surgery has been cancelled. She is ICU. Her lungs are filling up with fluid and her body isn't getting rid of it at the same rate. I pray she isn't in pain. We leave here on the 22nd, to go see her. I miss her. She is in our prayers.

You know you always see those commercials where the baby is running naked with Mom running behind him, a huge smile on her face calling him her little one and the "little one" laughing and giggling, the then product and then she is holding the baby dressed and saying that nothing is too good for her bundle of joy............well they never show you her cleaning up the water from the bath, or him yanking on his poor family jewels so hard they turn blue and she is telling him to stop thinking about his future wife. Oh no the TV world would never show you that! But I will - I will show you what I see and today that "little one" with the blue jewels, yup he's mine. I put him in the bathtub earlier and as I cleaned the bathroom he threw water every where. I let it go I'm going to clean it up not too big of a deal at least that way I get the bathroom cleaned up. Well he kept getting out of the tub and running into the bedroom then I would ask him if he was all done (with that big smile on my face, in my mommy voice) and he would smile, Noooooo and jump back into the tub. We did this for almost an hour, my Mommy voice was getting weak, but he was having a good time and I almost had the bathroom clean inbetween running after him. Then I finally get him rinsed, get a diaper on him, the room cleaned and all the suds cleaned up that were everywhere and I'm taking the dirty clothes downstairs. I can hear him playing so I'm good with not having him right in front of me. I sort all the clothes which for us is alot and I hear him giggling. I ask him what he's doing and he doesn't answer only grunts. So I go to see what all the noise is about and he is standing at the top of his slide completely naked holding his jewels that are now turning three different shades of blue, grunting - he looks up and smiles at me slides down and starts running. At that point I'm just tired, he hasn't napped all day and I know that I have to make dinner soon. I sat down and asked him where his diaper was. He does another lap before he runs over to the blue basket that we keep his clean diapers in. Hey - at least he put it away. I tell him that we need to put his diaper on and he comes back from a three lap stretch at high speed pointing at his jewels. So I explain to him what they are and tell him "Yup, just like Daddy" Using my mommy voice again. Well, that was my mistake. The kid Loves his Daddy and Misses him during the day. It sent him into a crazed high pitched voice. With one hand on the jewels and the other keeping him balanced and upright he sprinted once again. "Daddy", "Daddy", "Daddy", over and over and over again. I just took a deep breath, yeah it was cute but come on! Put the diaper on before you pee kid, thats the only thing that was going through my mind. I caught him mid stride in the living room and for the last time today using my Mommy voice I smiled and got his diaper on - 5 seconds flat..............Yayyyyyy Mommy. Then another 10 to get the shorts on and he was off again. And now to dinner.......

Boys

The girls went to camping with the girlscouts over the weekend. Dropped them off on Friday and picked them up on Sunday. After they weren't in the house for a few hours Chase made that comment that its so quiet without them bickering back and forth. I just laughed - thats the same thing that they say when the boys are gone. Its not that Mia and Angela fight alot  - who am I kidding they all fight and they all love eachother  :P They don't fight anymore than any other siblings do theres just more of them so it seems like alot. We had fun just us and the boys, we went to the sportsplex and played soccer, we went swimming at the Y. Chase had his Karate practice and we went out and ate lunch. It was a really good day. I was tired though man can those boys wear you out.

Grandma Shultz

Grandma had a heart attack while she was in the hospital. That makes me so mad! They didn't even know until days later. Why is it that she is in the hospital and the nurse's didn't know when she was having a heart attack, I mean I know I am no doctor but one would think that all the buzzers and all the crap they have her hooked up to would have spiked or something. But I guess it didn't, and they have been mean to her, Mom says that she was crying because one of the nurse's hurt her moving her into bed and damn, she is old and fragile and that guy was just a jerk. She goes in today for her major surgery. Then two days after she goes again. This is the more serious one but they all seem pretty bad - she slurs her speech and you can tell she is weak over the phone. She is one strong lady. I am praying that she has peace and not fear when she goes into surgery. I know God is with her, and I pray she is ok. I love you Grandma.

ok so Grandma goes back in for surgery today this afternoon. She sounds really good but can only talk on a cell phone cause she is too weak to hold onto the hospital phone. My family is so weird - my sister texts me with half of the information of what goes on or she doesn't text me at all. When she calls (2 times only) she tells me but has an attitude about telling me like she didn't want to make the call in the first place and tells me how my mom told her to call. My mom doesn't call at all, when I call the hospital to talk to Grandma she acts like she doesn't even know its me, "oh, I didn't recognize your voice " or she just hands it to grandma. My Aunt Dee is the only one that has even treated me like part of the family. She calls gives me the info asks if I understand if I have questions and hows the family, I ask how she is doing, how is Sandy doing and she tells me she loves me after each phone call. My own mother doesn't even do that. You would think with everything going on that your family would make a point to let each other know that they love each other because you never know when the Lord will call your name. But nope, not my family, then Jeff answered my moms phone when I called, Jeff - yes the man that likes to call himself Uncle and is a pedifilist and has hurt my family more than anyone I know, thats a whole nother story, I don't want him answering my moms phone I didn't call to speak to Satans follower only to my mother. Yup I'm being spiteful but sometimes I can't help it.
Now Barbra and me where getting along really well till she had to open her freakin mouth again and tell me how unfair I am and I don't treat the kids right, well damn it, she can raise them then , she is so much better than me. I told Steve I want her out, he says its his Mom and she has no where to go. I have tried to turn the other cheek and now the other and now the other but I don't think God intended me to be a door either. What am I suppose to do? I love my family, she is bringing chaos into my family the common thing is her and I can't get rid of her, what now? She hurts my feelings so bad, then pretends like it never happened. Steve's talked and talked to her and no change. She's the closest thing I have to family here and she treats me like shit. I thought that since I dont have really any close friends yet that me and her could be close instead she hates me. And I am getting close to hating her. A couple of weeks ago all I wanted was a hug, I needed a hug, I asked her if I could ask her a question - I wanted to know if she would feel comfortable hugging me, instead she said she didn't feel like answering my questions and walked away. Now you know that I don't get where I need a hug very often and that was really hard for me to do and she rejected me before I even asked. She's a negative person, she's a rude and spitefull person and I don't want her around the kids. Well I better quite whining and go work out - I always feel better after I run, I think of her and I bust out a mile or two then I'm too tired to fight :) I miss Washington, I miss my friends, I miss living with my family in my house, I miss feeling like I belonged. Hadn't felt that way in a long time and yet across the country on a beautiful day once again I don't belong. A miss fit to the core, not something I'm proud of just something I thought I had lost long ago.

Grandma Shultz - The Lords Peace.

So I haven't been keeping anyone updated. Talked to my Aunt Dee - she's an awesome person and she said that Grandma made it through on the surgery on Monday and there will be another one today. There was so much infection that they were really surprised that Grandma was alive but she's a fighter I tell you. That woman had 6 kids, and still talks to them all today despite how they might or might not of ended up. Takes a good woman to love and deal with everything she has done. And she is still on her way! I talked with her yesterday and she sounded so good, her spirits were good and me and the kids got to see her on Skype before the surgery so that was really nice. Weird thing is that I was really worried about not going especially when my mother reminded me 4 times on one phone call that my brother would be there, (hint, hint - yup thats my mom) so I prayed about it, not a deep prayer but just always on my mind prayer, and something happened, over the next few days when I was going to decide to go or not and talking to Steve I got a sense of calming. I wasn't worried about her, and I new God was going to get her through this. Her surgery today and I am not worried about it. Even if something does go wrong, the Lord blessed me with peace. I know he is with her and I know that if she leaves us she will be with him - we will see her soon enough. Should I not see her in May - I will see her in heaven. And I'm ok with that. She is in God's hands, and which ever his choice may be, seeing her on Skype and talking to her yesterday will not be the last time I see, talk, or hear my Grandmothers voice. God gave me peace, and for all his doing I am thankful. Thank you Lord - you heard my prayers, and thank you for having friends to read this that will pray right along side of me.

Pray - God Hear Me

God save my Grandma, I know its your will but I pray that your will is the same as ours, to keep her here. God I know that you have a plan and I hope that plan doesn't include her name anytime soon. Lord, be with my Grandma, she's a wonderful person and she is loved by many. Calm her fears Lord, I pray that no matter what the outcome you be with her give her courage, and inner peace. I pray that she not be scared and that she stays in good spirits. Lord I ask that you take my Mom and my Aunts under your wing and let them lean on you in their time of need. I never know what to say to them but I feel their pain, My aunt De's voice says how much she hurts and have no words of encouragement for her. Let her hear you Lord, let her worry's fall on you. Lord be with the doctors, surgeons, and nurses that will be taking care of Grandma. Lord hear our prayers. In Jesus's Name I pray.

Grandma Shultz

On Tuesday Grandma was suppose to have surgery on THursday, now its Thursday and she is having the surgery on Monday. My mom called me and was talking to me then all of a sudden my aunt got on the phone and said they don't think Grandma will survive the surgery and if I want to see her to come there by Monday. Thats it thats all I got. Then she said she had to go cause she had to tell someone else the same thing. What a thing to say, maybe its just me and I know she's under a serious amount of stress cause its her Mom right but why wasn't I talking to my mom and why was my aunt so cold. Grandma could come through this and be walking around in no time, they are planning on her not making it or at least that is what it seems like. I don't know if I should go or not, its a 12 hour drive and Barbra would have to take care of the 4 kids, Steve is knee deep in work so its not like I can depend on him for anything right now other than going to work. I just need to keep me and the kids out of his way and now I want to leave all four with his mom? who can't take care of them for more than a few hours? I mean she can but then they tell me how mean she is and things aren't done right, and its not that they aren't done right its that they aren't done my way. And you know me I want them done my way with my kids. Its not like she does anything wrong.....I don't know. Then I was talking with Steve and her and by the way he told me that if I want to go to go the kids will be fine but I just can't not worry about it. ok so I'm talking to them and she tells me that people shouldn't go to their Grandma's stuff like that that that is for the kids not the grandkids. But I'm close to my Grandma I love my grandma, and I would want her to come see me if something happened to me. I just don't want anything to happen to her and I don't know what to do. All I can do is cry. ......

Grandma Shultz

Grandma is sick again, pretty serious this time. She is going to have surgery on Thursday morning. Bessie called the red cross to get Mom home to be here for the surgery. The surgery could be the best or the worst depending on the outcome. My Aunts are scared, so am I. Grandma has always been there you know. She's Grandma, the only place that I wake up in and know the smell, and all the sounds. I never stayed in one place long enough for me to know those things from my Mom. But Grandma, she's lived in the same house my whole life, I remember making ornaments with her when I was 5 or something crazy like that. Grandma is always happy to hear from me, and there's nothing like her hello and the sound of her voice when you say Hi Grandma.....She's a strong woman. I am praying that she is ok.

What were you doing at 6 o'clock?

Me? Well I was showering. Twenty minutes in the shower, that's all I wanted. During that 20 minutes I had three knocks at the door. Mooommmm.............That was a lot less than I thought but still. I got all lotioned and dressed,smelling good and open the door and what do I see? Why its Hunter in mid toss of a silver bowl, OMG he has the cat's food bowl only there isn't food coming out of it. There is kitty litter every where, cat caca everywhere in the hallway, and cat food everywhere. Now the hallway isn't a huge area but it was big enough for him to spread the litter everywhere. I called for Steve who immediatly came up and cleaned it all up with the help of his Mom. It only takes a minute for Hunter to destroy the hallway, that kid is quick! I took Hunter into the bath right away and washed him. He had kitty litter in his hair, armpit and yup in between his little piggys.........cleaned him up and back to it. Never a dull moment.

Angeal is 9!!!

Angela had her Birthday party over the weekend. We had it at the skating rink. They had a blast. We had 8 little girls here total. They talked about boys, what they wore, makeup and what they were going to wear on Monday hahahaha they were so funny!!! She had a great time and she is now into Justice. Its a girl store here and its the high end of the name brand clothes. So I took her there and she was even surprised at how much stuff was so we went over the clearance rack and why we love that rack so much :) All in all it was a great time.

Mia just got out of the shower and I came downstairs, out of the corner of my eye I see the cat in the living room and she looks different. So I reach down and pick her up - then I realize that she is soaking wet! She is shaking and cold and just wet. Then it came to me - Mia took a shower with her. I got a towel and dried her up, trying not to laugh - I went back upstairs and asked Mia if she gave the cat a bath, and she calmly answered - yeah I thought she needed to be cleaned. It didn't even faze her that you don't give cats baths!!! hahahahahaha, I straight faced told her that she can not give the cat a bath that she is probably in shock now and not to do it again. Poor cat :)

ok so its been awhile, have been crazy busy so lets catch up. Angela turned 9! Man she is turning into a little lady now :) She's so beautiful. Grandma went into the hospital, got out, going to try and see her soon its a long drive to Chicago. The kids have one more week of PSSA state testing then back to normal. Steve went from 12 hours days to working 23 hours in 30 hours. Back to 8 hours now and we are sooooo glad. Found a house, put an offer in, she refused - blessing in disquise the roof leaked. Angela's party is this weekend. Mom is going to try and move back to the states. Hunter pee'd in the Potty yesterday for the first time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now we have pull ups. Looking at more houses tomorrow. Chase got his contacts and will go for braces next week thats going to be fun. Will got hurt at wrestling practice and then he was better. He got pink eye and I won a free massage from a drawing. Ok, I think thats it. I will be on more, at least I'm going to try. Oh yeah almost forgot I took my final in Chemistry and got a B. If I'm good I will have completed two more class's by the end of the month.

Our Phones

I couldn't call anyone and wish them a Happy Easter because last week some how we lost Steve's phone then on Saturday we lost mine. I've been going insane looking for it. I even put a reward up for ten bucks! That's alot of money for the kids,they looked up and down and still didn't find it. My purse was so violated! I don't think she's ever been handled that much in a few days. Well on Monday I got a Skype call from my Mom telling me that my Grandma is in the hospital again and not doing good, and oh by the way the YMCA has your phone.......WT....are you talking about???? Well apparently I left it at the Y on Saturday morning when I took the kids to their stuff, the kids were using my phone and I never got it back. AKA the kids talk to much on my phone!!!!!! Ok so the Y called my Uncle Roy in Washington to let him know I forgot my phone across the country and to ask me to just whip on up there to pick it back up. Why Uncle Roy??? I have no idea....but my Uncle Roy got the message and called my Pops in Texas, My Pops got the message and called my sister in Indiana, My sister got the message and called my Mom - IN GERMANY, my mom Skyped me and went and got my phone. Needless to say it was very tired from its whole ordeal and I had to charge it up really good before I could use it. Got it back now and have read all my message. Happy Easter everyone. :) That just leaves Steve's phone, yesterday he was looking for Hunter's shoes in the closet and in the corner there lye his phone! What are the odds of that??? He was close to getting a new one I just know it and then along came his to find its way back. No touchscreen for YOU! We are both glad to have our phones back and are thinking about a home phone but we will have to see. So sorry if I missed any phone calls or text messages.

Happy Easter 2010

Well Happy Easter everyone, it was very different this year for us. First - me and the kids went to Church alone, I guess I wasn't alone, I mean there are five of them! But anyways Steve had to work so it was just us. This weekend will be his last weekend worked, at least for a few more weeks. Then either days or nights I can't remember which one at the moment. I still made Easter dinner but we waited for Steve to get home to have it, and the Easter Bunny just happen to be passing by when we were eating dinner and leave stuff. The 4 older kids know about the "Easter Bunny" so Chase helped me hide eggs while the others ate. He was hiding them and he was really trying to HIDE them, I told him we were hiding for Hunter and put an egg in the middle of the living room. That is hiding for Hunter. He said he got it but yesterday Angela found an egg that was well hidden so I'm pretty sure he didn't understand. But he tried and he was really excited about hiding them it was really cute. Hunter got 3 eggs at the Easter hunt at Church. He didn't get it till almost the end, wondering around looking at other kids was much more interesting to him. It was still a good Easter, we celebrated Jesus Rising for us and taking our sins on the cross. Ultimately that is what Easter is for so the eggs and a bunny that lays them can take the back seat for this one! He has Risen!

So Tuesday we unpacked more of the basement and made an area for the girls. The boys got upset because they wanted the downstairs all to themselves. Now that the girls have an art area the boys can't keep them out but they will get over it. Yesterday we went to the Philly Zoo. Hunter loved it, he loves the monkey's. Everytime he saw a monkey jump he said Woooow! Some of the spider monkeys started jumping around and playing and he got so excited, Wow Wow Wow Wow he just kept going. It was alot of fun. We actually missed alot of animals but after 4 hours there we were so tired and ready to go home. All the kids had a lot of fun and I really enjoyed my time with them. There are only 3 days left till school, I'm going to kind of miss not having the kids around :) but I think me and Hunter can handle it :P Today we aren't sure if we are going to go to Valley Forge or just hang out, the girls are awake but the boys are still out. Will had wrestling last night so he is sleeping extra good.

Spring Break

Spring Break has started, yesterday - Monday was the first day and boy was it a day :P William had a doctor's appointment first thing in the morning since we figured he had pink eye, on Saturday I had taken the kids to the Y to go swimming and Will's eyes were red but we figured it was because of the chlorine in the water, well Sunday it was still there so Monday morning to the doctors we go. Then I had my appointment there since we were already there why waste time. Then back to the house to clean, eat and give the kids some playtime.  Then to the eye doctor for Chase, he's getting contacts and has an instructional class on how to take care of them and how to put them in. Then we have Angela's Parent teacher conference, then William's Parent teacher conference, then Chase's Parent Teacher conference, well at the end I was pretty much done and Hunter had had his full share of busy and was ready to go so Mia's is soon to come. All in all it was a busy good day. Will has drops for his eyes, Chase has contacts for his eyes and Hunter is running free at home :) One day down 5 school days to go.

Church today was nice, I get lots of smiles when I walk in like when I went to New Life in Washington. I don't have the past with these people but it stated in washington with a smile too. So maybe I can make a past here. Not like the one I currently have one that I always wanted, one that I always prayed for. You know I've been reading this book by Max Lucado - He came I think, and the book from my small group Boundaries and they were both talking about your past. Lucado talks about how when you confess your sins to the lord he forgives you and washes them away. He doesn't hold onto them and smell a fragerance later and think thats when Becki did ........a song doesn't make him think of a time when I was rec-less and acted that way. He doesn't do that he forgive's and he forgets, thats it he isn't going to hold it over your head. I find the biggest boundary for myself is leaving the past in the past. Not that I want my old life back, I don't but the hurt and things I did, the guilt, I haven't seem to be able to leave it behind. Maybe one of the reason's I am in this group is not only to set boundaries outside my body but from within as well. Today at church a lady named Lisa came up and told me that she was a blended family and asked me how I was holding up with the changes and that the kids seem well adjusted but how was I doing. I smiled and said what I always say when things get thick. I'm fine, how are you? Only she didn't buy it. She looked at me and said how long have you been here, I  told her almost 6 months, she told me it took her almost 2 years to get a routine and feel as if things were finally calmed down. She said it was ok to feel what I was feeling. My eyes just swelled up with tears. Her husband came over and introduced himself, he asked about mine, he is a marine and used to work the shift work that Steve is working now and will be working later. He asked how I was, I told him fine....as the tears dropped and I smiled, I'm fine really. He said - hey 5 kids, blended family, new surroundings, no friends, no families and a mother in law issue. Its ok really. I know I've been there its not ok, its not fun and its not easy. I just knodded. He asked us over for dinner. I will run it by Steve. As we are walking into the auditorium Lisa and me talking, Will tells me my choice of clothing is not great.....I told him I don't need fashion tips from him and Lisa laughed, I was embarassed at first then she pointed to one of her boys. He's mine, doesn't it upset you, I don't know how to get him to stop doing it to me. Its never ending with that one. I was so relieved. Maybe we are a little more normal that we first thought. Steve should be home in an hour or so, I'm trying to have a steak dinner ready for him. We will see how that works out........

GS Event

Today the girls had an girlscouting event. They went skating. When I got there to pick them up Mia comes running up with a tooth in a bag, yelling Mom Mom Mom look what happened. I smile and ask how exactly did that happen. She told me she was chewing on a starburst candy and noticed that it was harder than it should be (aren't they soft?) She's such a goof. So she pulled out her tooth. Susanna the GS troop leader was telling me that she was bleeding and Susanna told her it was ok for her to go was all the blood out of her mouth, Mia said nope I like the taste of blood. Susanna thought that was the funniest thing in the world, I told Mia that was actually a little strange, and to myself I'm saying a little scary.............but either way they both had a blast. Angela is getting so tall, and she's getting to the awkward stage quicker than I thought. I remember when I first met her, she was this little blonde girl that smiled all the time. Now .......man they just grow so fast.

Library Time

Today me and Hunter went to the library for story time and he just wouldn't get into it this time. He was more interested in the cars that were going by outside than in the old ladies book. Then one of the librarian's started setting up for crafts. They had small bottles of water, which he tried drinking several times - different color square craft paper with sticky back, which he tried eating several times - and dirt, which once in his mouth was hard to get him to let go, it wasn't just dirt it was dirt in a frisbie mesh bag, you know you have a hard disk, you add the water and the dirt gets soft and all of a sudden there's more of it, yeah well try having your 20 month old bite into one of those. Its great fun let me tell ya!!!!! Then the lady comes by and gives him sunflower seeds, really?????? Sunflower seeds...........ok, not only did he try to eat it, put it in the water bottles, but put it in his belly button as well. What kind of craft is this???? But he had a blast trying to do all that. He was a busy little guy let me tell you. never stopping. And smiling the whole time. It was fun really it was, he really likes the library. They have color coded computers and I haven't figured out if thats good for him or not. Time will only tell.

Me and Steve took Hunter today to French Creek national Park. We had lunch there out on a picnic table and walked around, it wasn't for long but it was beautiful and it was so nice to have my husband to myself. Hunter fell asleep in the car and I had his undivided attention. I love talking to him, its just hard sometimes when you have the kids, his mom, his phone, the computer, the door, dinner and everything else in life that steps into the conversation. I remember before when we were dating and we would talk for hours on the phone, I would wait for his phone call and I would get so excited. I love talking to him, and its hard to actually have a conversation. you know anyone can talk, hi - bye - nice to see you. But then when you really talk, you feel connected, and you giggle, and laugh, and I don't know how else to explain it other than a good time with my wonderful husband and my cute little man who is getting very big very quick.

Freestyle

Will and I just got back from his first freestyle wrestling practice, and he loved it. He talked about how awesome it was the whole way home. It was great to be in the bleachers watching him, I enjoy watching him so much, its calming to me. All the other mom's are worried that their boys are going to get hurt and I am just watching him with admiration, and a sense of well being. He is a good wrestler! Now I know every mom thinks that their kid is good but I know mine is good :P I'm so glad he finally found his nitch, you know, its beautiful to watch your kid do something that they love. Hopefully he will stick with it and it will be a great thing in his life but for now, he's tired, and excited to go back.

Sesame Street

Today me and the little man went to the library with Sarah for music time and story time. He loved it!!! He really likes to read, he's getting into the Spiderman flip books right now. We watch Elmo's world in the morning too, and he loves that, as soon as he he's the la la la la la la la he starts dancing and smiling and will run over to the couch get his blanket and point to the rocker, we sit there and watch it together. I never thought I would like Sesame Street so much. Today Toysrus in King of Prussia was going out of business so everything was 50-70% off, there were people running and everything it was nuts. So we got Hunter a toddler bed in Cars, he loves that movie. We set it up and he is sleeping in it right now!!! My baby is almost 2! He's so big, and sweet damn I can make some good babies :)

Night time

All the kids are asleep, Steve is so tired, I'm watching the NCAA Wrestling Championships, my Pops is there and we are texting and talking while we watch the matches. Peacefull.........I want to go to church tomorrow, I need to go, and I pray that I can, I pray that god allows us to make it there and give me peace and strength to get there in one piece with all my children.  I just wnat to lay here, close myes and enjoy:
Enjoy my husbands air, his deep sleep that will allow him to awake in the morning to start another day. To touch his hands. Thses hands,  I wonder if he knows how much his hands mean to all of us, to the kids they are big hugs, and high fives, the girls they are the hands that told them high and tall at the dance, to Hunter they are daddy's hands, and he loves to hold them, to me, my warmth, my security, my love............I love my husband and my family allthough I bitch alot about them I wouldn't trad them in for anthing, well maybe Grandama but thats another story. I love my disfunctional family   jjajajajajajajajajajajajajajajaahaha

Now watch Steve is going to get home, and I was in a great mood and now I'm severly pissed and he will be the one that I take it out on, why? WHy do I do that? Its not his fault she's and assbag!

My Home

We had such a good day.............until we came home!!!! I am so sick an tired of Barbra acting like she's the queen bee around here and we should bow down to her ever whim.... Steve has duty this weekend so its just me and the kids, well we woke up early and drove out to Reading for the Pet Expo - it was so cool!!!! Tons of different cats, and dogs, lizards, and a real tiger! I saw a hairless cat, hahahahahahahaha the kids were kinda creeped out but it was still really neat. We took sandwiches and food in the cooler with us and had a picnic in the car in the parking lot, we watched a movie and we headed home. We left at 9 and we are back here at 4, not a bad day with six kids (girls had a friend spend the night) They were all pretty good, nothing crazy and only lost a few a couple times. No biggie :P   But now its 4:14 and Hunter came running in with some keys, the kids were helping bring everything in and all the keys fell when we came in, I though we picked them all up but we were trying to get the door shut before Hunter escaped, well I heard an alarm going off, car alarm, I looked at Hunter and he was smiling pushing the buttons, so I took them and then turned it off, and then walked out side and locked the car up again. It was Barbra's car of coarse and it was no big deal. So I sat down and started watching tv not thinking anything of it. Well then she comes flying downstairs yelling at Chase and asking him why he has taken her keys are he is like, I didn't do anything but that didn't stop her from yelling and freaking out. So I got up and said hey there's no need for you to come down here yelling, the keys fell off and Hunter pushed them, not a big deal, she started pointing her finger at me and yelling yeah right, I don't want you messing with my stuff, I told her that if she wanted to continue to yell she can go to her room, she kept yelling at me and walking up, told me I was doing it on purpose, and that I made it go off twice, thats no accident and this is her house too, Don't I understand that. I again, smiled and said ok Barbra if you don't want to listen just go in your room, shut the door and freak out in there. And so she did, now I am writing this and she just came an sat in the living room on the couch and is staring at me! what the hell am I suppose to do with that? She's being an ass on purpose! I don't appreciate her talking to me or to my son that way, she has no right to yell at him, accuse me of messin with her stuff and then to remind me that she lives her, as if I don't Pray about that shit everyday.!!! If she doesn't go upstairs soon we are going to argue more, cause she still hasn't apoligized for telling me I'm a bad mom!

Mia and Chase

Chase is doing fine, Mia has an allergic reaction to the chicken pox shot. The doc said " Good thing you don't have to do that again" Yeah, within 8 hours her arm was half its size and she wasn't in pain, so now we have Angela on Amoxacillian for strep throat and Mia on it for an allergic reaction.

Mia and Chase This time

Mia got her chicken pox vaccine 3 days ago and her arm is still swollen, and her whole upper arm is red and swollen. Her little arm looks like my big fat one! There's one small circle around the injection site, then another bigger circle, then another bigger circle, and the red area has a fever! Its weird, never seen anything like it. Going to take her in to the doc this morning, and Chase already has an appointment, so both of them are going to stay home today and see the doc. Its always one of them but it seems lately that two of them are always sick :(  We will see what the docs say..........

Great Group

I had my Ladies Group the other night and I had such a wonderful time! It was nice to be able to openly speak about things that anywhere else I would feel judged or not even say anything at all. I felt like not only was it ok to talk, but they wanted to hear what I had to say, they were concerned, and when I shared I wasn't looked at and told not to feel that way or that I am being redicoulous, and I don't mean verbally I mean that comment you get with an expression. You know what I'm talking about, the one that as soon as you see it your heart starts pounding, and you know you aren't holding up your end of the deal. Everyone's had that look from someone, and it really sucks! Well I didn't feel that way at all, I felt acceptance. And then at the end, we were all prayed for and told how much God loves us, its nice to know that your loved, and its nice to hear it from others. So it was a great group, wonderful bunch of ladies, and strong - WOW - I can only hope that I am able to be as strong as some of them in my life. What can I say, Group and God - yup, it was a good night :)

Getting Old!

My left foot has been hurting for the last month or so, I've just ignored it, and I didn't injure it so I didn't want to go in. Well after a fun time over the weekend my foot was really bothering me this morning so I finally went in and what do you know, I have some old lady problem.  Plantar Fasciitis is what they call it. It happens when you are on your feet all day and you have flat feet, the Doc says as you get older parts of your body get inflamed, like arthritis. It never goes away, you can get shots for the pain, and sometimes surgery, sometimes a foot doc will make you a linning to use in your shoes, but it never goes away. She smiled and said, it sucks getting old - sorry, take some asprin and let me know how it feels in a few weeks. Yup, gettin up there now :(

PA Funeral

Ok, so here in PA they take St. Patty's day very seriously. In a good way. Some friends took me and Steve out over the weekend to an Irish Wake at Bally's Hotel. It was a bar, and a huge tent out back, green beer was flowing, the band was there, it was great. We had so much fun, they have a guy get in a coffin and and the guys with bagpipes and kilts are going, they push this guy around and then girls go up and tell him jokes ( a man dressed as a girl, went up :) ) they are suppose to wake him up, he gets up and the drinking begins, I don't get the whole thing, the guy in the coffin was kinda creepy, but it was alot of fun after that. And the best jello shots !!! So my first funeral in PA - or wake, whatever they call it - was alot of fun. They really get into Patty's day and it was a Blast!!!

I know I haven't been myself lately, I know that this is not who I am, I know that there are things going on that I need to sort through and that with time it will be ok, now its been suggested on more than one occasion that I go see someone to help me sort these things out. I'm not ok with that though, but after more than one suggestion I agreed. Now lately I have been thinking alot about death, not in the way that everyone gets worried about. In the way that I know I'm not myslef lately but lets say that I pass away before I get back to where I was, what will God say to me? What will my kids think? Will they understand, will my husband have peace. What can I do to make sure that if that happens that they know I love them and they understand where I am at right now. So I told this to my agreed upon help and she informed me that I shouldn't think about that. That I shouldn't bother myself with such guilt, that that guilt is just making it harder for me to get back to me. So for the last two days that is what I have been trying, then I went to church this morning. The sermon was on outreach, and how you need to love now because tomorrow might never come. That if you passed today what would you say to the Lord, what would he think of you, and would you go to him pure in heart, would your family have good things to say about you after you were gone. That kind of think.
 So now what? Confused is what - so many things to be confused about.

Angela Basketball Games

Here are some pics of Angela's basket ball games, we are on the photos this year but I will try. As soon as school is over I will be much better. To see Angela pics Click Here

Super Bowl Sunday Pics

I know I haven't gotten any pics in a long time so here is just a few I have about 10 minutes till everyone gets home from Laser Tag and wants to eat so this was suppose to go up on Super Bowl Sunday. This was right before Hunter burnt himself. Click Here To see the few photos we took that day. We were too busy eating and then tending to Hunt man.