Ivy

Ivy, so even though I know she is a phone call away and I know that if something drastic were to happen either she would fly here or I would fly there but not being in the same town, or at least within driving distance is really much harder than I thought it would be. I don't want to call and talk to her on the phone because its a constant reminder of how far away she is. Now don't get me wrong, Ivy and I have wanted to tare eachothers eyees out over the years. But she is the first Woman that I have trusted in a very long time. She is probably the one person that I tell the most things to because I know that she wont judge me. The fact that she is a Morman and I an Christian makes our relationship that much sweeter. When it came to religion the first few years we never talked about it. Then slowly it came up, then it was something that was out in the open and I wasn't afraid to talk in front of her. Even when I was mad at her, and her at me. It may have taken awhile and she may be different in her own way, but so is everyone else. I know I am. I know I defiently am. Her Husband is the only guy I have felt comfortable hugging besides my brothers and my husband. It took along time for him to talk, but when I would go over to her house and he would talk to me and really talk to me you know, not the regular hi how are you, but really talk to me about crap that was going on in his life, my life and his wife's, it was just a confirmation that I was really a part of her life and a part of her family. It was confirmation that he wasn't tolerating me like I feel like most people do but he enjoyed me being around. That meant and means so much to me I don't know how to explain it. He hugs good, and his hugs are pure and with his heart out, and to see him and her together makes you believe that no matter what religion you are God does exist. Because God is the only one that could make such a wonderful union with two beautiful people that I miss dearly. I miss sitting at the dinner table, it didn't matter who came by to say to them, what relative, what friend, what church member, I was welcome, not made to feel like I had to hide in the back like my family does to me, but out in the open shes' glad I'm there. I miss Thelma coming up and sitting down and talking to me, and really taking an interest in me and telling me all the time how happy she is for me and how much she loves me and how great my children are and what a wonderful husband I have. I miss my nephews walking through smiling at me, the hug from Asher and his face looking up at you that only he can do. He's my son's best friend, thousands and thousands of miles away and the only friend that he cried over was Asher and Mason. I pray that they can keep that friendship close to their hearts. I miss being at the table when dinner was being made, all the kids, the smells, the laughter, the intimate yet casual talks with my best friend that I could love a hug from right now. I miss those moments, I will hold them in my heart for the rest of my life and I can only feel blessed to have had them and pray that there will be more. I miss my Jolly.