Sadness

 I can't believe she's gone. She was the glue to the family. Without her I don't know whats going to happen.  I've had the same dream all night over and over again. I'm at her funeral and I walk up to the casket and I can see her arms, her body but when I go to look at her face I can't. I can't look up and see her face then I'm back at Grandmas house coming down to go to school and she's sitting at the table drinking her coffee just like she was all the time. It didn't matter what time of the morning you got up Grandma was always there. Steve says its my way of dealing with it and once I have come to terms with her death I will have peace. But what if I don't want to come to terms............does it happen over time? Is this something you decide? How long to you mourn the dead.